Guilty Pleasures

Another Friday, another music post, and this time (thanks to the iPod tossing up one of the songs below), about Guilty Pleasures. This is a hardy perennial on the internet, so I won't claim any originality... And I suppose there's not much originality in my opinion of the idea of guilty pleasures in the first place - I don't tend to feel guilty about my pleasures. But I won't deny, there are things I like that need a bit of explaining. Some of them things that shouldn't require too much justification - bands that get a bad reputation for some reason, that fall out of fashion, that are associated with values that are denigrated, etc. - but are in fact quite good. Light pop, cheesy metal, bloated bombast, singer-songwriters - that kind of thing - styles that manage to produce an inordinate amount of garbage - but when done well, are done very well indeed.

So - there are perhaps those who would think you should feel guilty for liking, oh - the Carpenters - the Steve Miller Band - Gordon Lightfoot - but not me. There are certainly bands that sneak up to the line - 70s Jefferson Starship, say - they were ready to topple over into the utter dreck they made in the 80s - but songs like Miracles or Caroline are better than good. (This may come down to the degree of involvement from Marty Balin - he seems to be the key to the good stuff...) But basically - these are very fine acts, working in styles that have passed out of (and into, and out again, every half a decade maybe) fashion - or who worked at a time, in a milieu that produced a kid of structural crappiness (the 1970s!), that the material still transcends. I will add - this sort of thing occasionally catches up bands that are indisputably great, but get missed, or dismissed for extraneous reasons. (I have treated this subject before.) There are people who would question ones devotion to Queen, or George Michael, or Elton John even, or maybe even the Go Gos or - is this possible? - Blue Oyster Cult... these are not guilty pleasures at all - and one must question the judgment of those who question yours...

Not guilty - pleasure:



But that's not what I'm here to write about. No. I mean, real guilt! Though this requires another distinction - because again, there are songs, acts, etc. that, well - they aren't so respectable, and maybe it's fair this time, maybe they aren't so respectable because they do tend to suck.... But not these songs. That is - these songs are as good as they are - but I still feel like I need to explain them, in ways I don't feel any need to explain liking "Freedom 90".

1. REO Speedwagon - Time for Me to Fly - REO became something evil in the 1980s (though still catchy enough) - and in the 70s - they were a bland, middle of the pack semi-arena band - along about the level of Journey or something... Though unlike Journey, they did not suck in the 70s. Unlike Journey, they do not make me want to break something when I hear them. And some of their songs - especially this one - are - heard later, all these years later - fucking great. I mean really - this is one of the best breakup songs ever, and I am not kidding.

Really:



2. Styx - Lady - cheesy 70s psudo-prog bullshit, but when you listen - well, all right, get past Dennis DeYoung's caterwaul, yes, and the tinkly piano, sure, and - the fucking bells... and then? The guitar riffs kick in - is it a bolero? I think it might be - but the way it plays against DeYoung's mewlings - I don't know - it's great, for all that. It feels - modern.

3. Fannypack - Cameltoe - songs like this - cutesy comic bubblegum - might be worth an eyeroll or two, but in the end - catchiness and comedy will carry the day. There's no point pretending to feel any guilt for liking this, done well.Which is good, because I don't feel guilty.

4. Blind Melon - No Rain - I know I probably should hate myself for liking this, but I can't; especially when the guitar solo kicks in.

5. Eddie Money - Two Tickets to Paradise - this has to be mentioned. Eddie Money sucks eggs, but something went wrong here - the song - you know, I'm tempted to dismiss it, but it's not half bad - catchy, nothing wrong with the lyrics, neat sound - and then.... It features a guitar solo that I am not alone is considering not just one of the best solos on a bad song, but one of the best guitar solos period - one of the most wonderful musical breaks in pop music. Seriously. On an Eddie Money song.

And so, after all that, we get to the Real Deal. You want guilty pleasures? here they are - songs that no decent person should be listening to, and no sane person should defend, but... Even here, I suppose this is a bit dishonest - I don't really feel guilty for liking all these songs - but I probably should. I shall Count Them Down, least to most guilt - because, by the end of it - yes - there are a ocuple songs here that, well - I hate the fact that I have ever heard these songs, let alone listened to them, let alone listened to them intentionally - and yet I have - and have perhaps paid the 99¢ for the privilege. Even added them to frequently played playlists. I may not be able to face myself if I admit this in public... but here goes. In reverse order, from least guilt to most:

5. Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight - this is a close thing, really - for all that's wrong with it, it has to get some points for: A. being one hell of a catchy number; B. being unambiguously about fucking; C. Very close to being self-parody all by itself, even before Will Farrell got hold of it. So - the truth is, I don't feel very guilty about liking this at all - but I had to include it somewhere in this post, if it wasn't here I'd have to think of something to say about something by Yes or System of a Down, and I can't face that.

4. Bay City Rollers - Rock and Roll Love Letter - a lot of things I liked when I was a wee bairn, then decided were crap, I went back to as an old fart and realized, Dang! this is pretty good! The Bay City Rollers, alas, were not one of them. Most of their stuff turns out, in retrospect, to be utter crap... But not this song. It's almost cool enough to leave off, here, maybe in favor of Yesterday's Hero - but - Yesterday's Hero, despite having some merits, really isn't good enought o bear comparison to the likes of Afternoon Delight - so, Rock and Roll Love Letter stays...

Fake can be fun too!



3. Terry Jacks - Seasons in the Sun - here, we start moving into the self-loathing territory. Now, granted, this is a Jacques Brel song, and brings with it the merits of M. Brel - but given a wimpy, lachrymose reading and arrangement... I grew up listening to this song every frigging morning on AM radio and - couldn't help loving it almost as much as I hated it. Certainly couldn't get it out of my head.

2. Petra - The Coloring Song - Christian Rock is a reliable source of complete crap, and this is a fine example - awful, cheesy, MOR Christian Rock from the late 70s, complete with flutes or recorders or some shit like that - and gory lyrics ("red is the color of the blood that flowed" - why didn't Mel Gibson use this during the flogging scenes in his Jesus in bondage film?) - but damn, it's pretty...

These things exist!



1. Morningwood - Nth Degree - I hate myself for enjoying this song. It's from a fucking car ad! the song itself - is cheesy and fake (it sounds like it was written for a car ad, possibly by the car) - it has no lyrics - I do not believe there are any actual humans participating in the song. And yet, christ, isn't it catchy? It's horrible - it's embarrassing - it makes me want to kick a puppy - but I still can't help listening to it.

Unspeakably horrible, and irresistible. Thank Christ the video contains an ad.